thought turns and churns

napag-isipan ko na mag-umpisa ng serye tungkol sa bawat umagang nagugugol kasama ang isang kasambahay sa may kalye ng santillan - walang iba kundi si manang mhalyn.

bago ko pa man isalaysay ang naging kwentuhan namin kanina, gusto ko muna ipakilala si manang mhalyn. sya ang dakilang VP for General Operations ng Boarding House ni Ate - isang maliit ng boarding house  kung saan ang inyong abang lingkod ay nanirahan at kasalukuyan pa ring naninirahan.
isang malaking responsibilidad ang maging tagapangasiwa ng General Operations. Dito po nkasalalay ang pamamalengke, pagluluto, paghahain, pagbabalot ng baon, paglilinis at pagpapanatili ng kuryente at tubig.

at dahil sa dami ng responsibilidad, hindi na rin nagawa ng ating bida ang paghahanap ng kanyang LOVE LIFE at natutuwa na lamang sa mga gawaing bahay at aming pag-tsi-tsismisan. at ang ilan dito ay ating isasalaysay.

sa kasalukuyan, isang pinag-ngi-ngitngitan ng ating mga bida ay si “Amihan”. Aba, kung bakit Amihan sya ay naturingan ay hindi dahil kasingganda nya si Iza Calzado sa Enkantadia kundi dahil sa lakas ng  hangin na kanyang dala. Bukod sa hangin, at dala rin ang kakaibang pagdadala - na kapag takipsilim ay dumarating minsa’y rumarampa na damit ay animong kinapos ng tela datapwat mukha ay sobra sobra.

Isa pang pinagngingitngitan ay si “Long”. hindi nya kamukha si Long Mejia. Long ay dahil pinapahaba nya ng lubusan ang pasensya ng ating VP at syempre ng El Presidente ng aming abang tirahan. Hindi mayaman ang ating Presidente at VP pero kung pagtulong ay kailangan, hindi ka nila uurungan. Ngunit itong si Long, aba’y ewan. Ilang beses nang nasesermonan dahil sa malamang maling pagharap sa mga responsibilidad na malamang naaabuso ang kabaitan ng ating mga bida.

Isa pa ay ang “Dobol-Trobol”. Mga ning… wag nyong aksayahin ang mga pagkakataon na ibinibigay sa inyo ng inyong mga tsimay… este.. tiyahin. Aba, kung kami nga, kahit na patulugin sa labas, uuwi at uuwi kami kahit na ma-sermonan dahil tama ang mga gumagabay sa ating pagtanda. Kung may problema sa mga pinag-aaralan, aba’y mag-aral! haha! Mahirap ang buhay. Kelangan mo lahat ng armas na ibinibigay syo upang baybayin lahat ng pagsubok at mamuhay ng tiwasay.

ayan… bukas naman. mejo bitin ang pagtatapos, pero meron pa po sa susunod para maibsan ang bitin.

hehehe!

my horoscope said:

“other people’s money will cause you more stress than your own money.”

darn right! i’m on holiday. and still working. there is a booking for a cute guy (and my sense of responsibility cannot permit negecting) that i just couldn’t refuse. tsk!

so here i am, getting stressed up, not because i am poor, but because i am worrying about a booking that needs payment. anyway, i have faith in reason, persistence & goodness.
i just hope all’s well that ends well.

ps: i want to go kayaking!!!

I write about 2 people who touched my life profoundly. I wish I could do or have had more. But time waits for no man. And time has deprived me of my chances.

Yesterday was April 1 - birthday of Lola Ling

She taught us how to wash dishes. after the soaping, dishes & utensils should feel “maragkot” instead of slippery. that means, the dishes & utensils have been washed properly & ready for the next round.
she taught us how to fold our clothes & neatly organize it in our “aparador”. underear with underwear, shirt with shirts, skirts with skirts, pants with pants.

she always brings home Goldilock’s Choco Roll Cake. my siblings & i loved eating that. it’s my favorite cake - until now.

not only does she buy goodies for us - she bakes them as well. my sister & i used to help her knead the dough. at the same time secretly pinching a bit of dough for a taste. i love the bread she bakes for us. my siblings & i didnt have to slice the loaf - we’d be content tearing off pieces of it to eat, to the consternation of Lola Ling. she also makes doughnuts. i remember the rolling pin & the thimble we used to flatten the dough then get the holes from it. it was then that i learned doughnuts were fried - not baked.

she makes mosit puto with cheese on top of it. yum! yum!

she smokes ham. i didn’t really like it very much. but i think my siblings did. she made me drink cod liver oil! ugh! nasty! nasty! nasty! or whole egg yolks in warm milk! she swabs pyralvex to my swollen tonsils & forbid me to eat ice, ice cream or cold coke! didn’t stop me though. heheh!

she always “tindi” our mosquitero at night. then checks if we folded our mosquitero right the next morning.

i remember the walis ting-ting she used to swat us with when we became too mischievous. ting-ting lng un, but it stings talaga.

i remember the white little cardboard shapes she cut out for us. square, rectangle, triangle, circle & oblong. i used to trace those on paper.

she taught us our spirituality. i learned my prayers from her. the rosary - all 15 decades of it. the apostles creed. the memorare. i didn’t really understand them all. but it gave me a solid foundation for my faith right now.

Our mother was then in Saudi - earning enough so we can go to good schools. Lola pushed her to do it. In the meantime, she took care of us to the best of what she knows.

Today is April 2 - the Anniversary of the Death of Pope John Paul II

He was a beacon of light not just to the Roman Catholics but to all whose lives he touched regardless of religion, nation, culture or ideology. He was the Great Communicator. The Pope of Reconciliation. His ministry spanned the vast cultures of the world, different religions and ideologies that governed men. He was the Bishop of Rome - who blessed his city every night before he sleeps. He was the Defender of Human Dignity & Religious Freedom. He guided the youth, the women and children. He was a Lover of God and the Sheperd of all.

World Youth Day ‘95 in Manila. It was one of the most memorable event of my adolescent years. I saw the Pope riding in his Pope-Mobile from afar. I wish for more. But then, with everyone clamoring for his attention, I decide it is enough.

They have left this world. But they have left leaving a legacy behind. And personally, the world was a lot brighter with them around. But now I realize, each & everyone of us is a beacon of light for others. If we shine together, then the world will be just as bright. Like they never left. +

1. lazed in bed the whole of saturday while reading “brisingr” by christopher paolini. its the 3rd book since “eragon” of the dragon rider series. i feel sad with the passing of oromis & glaedr - the oldest free dragon & rider, teacher of eragon & saphira, the last free dragon & rider. brisingr is the sword that eragon wields. it means “fire” in the ancient language. been so engrossed, it was hard to close the book. can’t wait for the 4th book.

2. did some room & personal chores. scrubbed the floor, sweeped the floor, cleaned some surfaces, rearranged some of my stuff to free some spaces - im getting seriously cramped! got my laundry to the laundry shop, cleaned myself up & bought a glittery pink celphone case, went to mass.

3. finished the book - brisingr.
now contemplating my life. seriously.

dang it!

i have the twilight fever. i knew i had it when i couldn’t put the book down. finished it in one sitting - right under the noses of my superiors during work hours and catch the last full show of the movie version at 10pm - leaving at 12mn with the cleanup crew of the movie house - all within a span of 24 hours. of course i was still able to budget time for some sleep - about 6 hours of it, 1/6 of the time daydreaming. wild horses couldn’t have pulled me away.

dang it! i returned to work with yesterday’s pile waiting for me. and still i opted to write this down in an attempt to sponge off this euphoria caused by twilight. to no avail. i know i will be dropping by the bookstore for the rest of the books, but im sure that before i hit those, i will be reading twilight again.

dang it! will i ever get back to work today? today of all days? this season of all seasons - one of the busiest i have? dang it! its been so long since i got so caught up in a book. its like reading my first paperback love story in grade 5 (two’s a crowd of sweet dreams series), or watching disney’s version of beauty & the beast - absorbing almost all of the details & hoping that someday my story will end up just like these - a love so fierce it will transcend everything else - even the person that you are.

dang it! i grew up accepting & getting over the fact that these fantasy-based hopes are simply fantasies. its all in books & movies. it broke my heart getting over these.

silly, i know. embarrassing for my age & time. still with twilight, these fantasies re-emerged with a vengeance. and i have come to terms that i really am silly - whether i like it or not.

yep, the line “you are like my personal brand of heroin” does it. very silly of me.

dang it stephenie meyer! you left me thirsting for more.

Rev. Fr. Marlon Jose Singson.

he had long hair. wore dark-rimmed glasses. drove a red car. wears white shirt. he smokes. he drinks. he laughs & jokes. he was human & i’m sure he lived it in the best possible way he can.

he spoke - and he spoke very well. he taught - he did that very well too. he inspired - until now, he does. he believed and led others to believe. he was a mentor.

in his passing, we grieve. the Church has lost another sheperd, our town another leader, the youth another friend.

Just a few minutes ago, I was reading my sister’s blog. Her topics consistently center on family & God. Its a good topic. if you read her blogs, it shows her fierce love for family & faith as well as her determination to be the best she can ever be. Not the least is her greatfulness for the blessings bestowed on her & her loved ones. It shows a steady character that has been shaped by family, faith & love. Ata girl, you do the family proud!

It does make me look back however at my blogs. Hehe! Well, what can I say?

What else, but the following:

1.      I have been in an email exchange with my batchmates in SLU. It’s pretty interesting as we commiserated how badly the government is serving the people, we are trying to come up with a means for generate electricity for free and the arguments centering on engineering & marketing relationship. It feels good to have a good conduit for old classmates to discuss sentiments & build things. Aside from that, it’s pretty entertaining to read responses that can heat up discussions as well interesting to see how things will go. Major characters in the recent exchanges are:

a.      Reginald – proponent for free energy generation. he hasn’t lost his cool in the middle of the exchanges. He’s the one that sticks to the electronics. Not surprising as his strengths are in those as well as in programming. As far as I know, he is very much connected to TrendMicro – one of the leading anti-virus companies in the world.

b.      Eugene – the one who damned the government first in the exchange. Hey Eugene… the sentiment is shared by a lot of people!:) eugene, i think Binay is wanting to do an Obama.

c.      Henry – the one who introduced the Zero-Energy Building, that sparked the zero-energy arguments. I’m sure he was reading the exchanges with an amused smile. Bdw, he prefers alitaptap as a source of free-energy!

d.      Denis – ahhh… this guy likes arguments. Especially arguments with me! it’s normal though as this goes way back in history (college days). Make no mistake, we’re still good friends.

e.      Me – lately I felt restless & this is where I am venting. Hehehe! But I really am for the project Reg! 

2.      Awny-Awny. My favorite character of the month! He is an admirer of my sister who is determinedly doing his very best to win my sister. He calls her everyday. He bought my sister stuff from Prada rims to expensive perfumes to Panadol tablets to cotton swabs & rolls & pads. Apparently he has good taste that is why his boss, Dr. Faisal trusts him with buying stuff. He is one of the best to accomplish a job that is why he is first in his employer’s mind & confidence. He laughs easily. He is very determined. Aside from wanting to finish his life with my sister (awww…. this is soooo sweet) and wanting to buy me a bribe, he also dreams of being famous!!! But remember Awny-Awny, if you are reading this, 3 hearts. In case things don’t work out between you & Madeleine, we can always adopt you.

Ps: Jeff, don’t get mad ok. You are already family. J

My sister have all these admirers. Hmmm….makes me wonder. Where are mine? Show yourselves! C’mon out & bribe me too!!! Where are you?!!

PS: Papi… we’ll share in the spoils.

In closing:

Ok. So this is just one of my blogs. not about family, nor faith nor work. So what does it say about me? My mind goes blank actually! But then, la vita e bella! Dolce vita!

after 3 months of procrastination, i jogged. this morning. on my own. for 15 minutes. i was sweaty but it was good. i feel good. and at half past 12, am still on the go. i feel like i shed all my sluggishness that even coffee cannot overcome.

and today, i am good.

i have been browsing the internet, checking my friendster and my facebook accounts. adding friends, sending knick knacks, doing notes. i have been bitching. and until now, i’m still totally pissed off with someone significant. so i am still seething. i am now watching synchronized swimming competition, a very unique form of sport, that china, france, egypt, russia and canada have just performed. with all due respect to the sport & its adherents, i find this sport amusing & a bit eerie - with all the legs rising, sinking, wiggling, jiggling, splitting, disappearing in the water. beats the hand (of the Lady of the Lake) that rose from whatever lake that was to give Merlin… err… or Arthur Excalibur. the ladies are all pretty and very talented though. China gets the judges’ favors though, at 48points.

anyway, im  bitching at the moment, because (^(&%( yfyAKH. i am hnlhjoihfdgba & i am ihdvoihafbh!!!

whoever is reading this, tell me your thoughts on this, will you?

distance makes the heart fonder… or does it make it wonder? and go wander?

i hate to discuss my personal affairs on my blog, but most of the times, its the best way to vent. no one is contradicting me. it just takes & takes all my frustrations and annoyance. i have been trying to write for over an hour now… so far this is the sorry material i can come up with - about multi-tasking & now bitching.

but dammit! i had more than my share of long-distance affairs… and so far, tis not doing me any good! especially when im at the cusp of my red days! dammit!

recently, i have been feeling more & more down & out. what is my problem? what? what? what?

all small unpalatable details about things i see, hear, smell… they are all magnified!!! i see women’s bushy armpits! i smell "putok" on pretty women… so smelly that i rather not shop because another smelly woman is shopping in the shop… so gut-turning that id rather wait til i get home to pee instead of queueing in the lavatory for my turn at the stall. i hear men clearing their throats & spewing phlegm anywhere… ugh!

i have been looking for comfort from the only person who can give me comfort but there was not enough to receive… i want to cry!

i woke up to a room without electricity the other day. i was looking for someone to help but darn it - people cannot understand me!!!

i miss home. i miss filipino-cooking. i miss my bed even if my room isn’t airconditioned. i’d rather sweat buckets with my roomies rather than be frozen in an airconditioned room. i miss familiarity. things here can be strange even if people are trying to be nice.

well… i don’t want to wallow in my crazy plight right now. id better get engrossed with Grey’s Anatomy Season 3. My kind of series… though it was getting heavier & more intense since Season 1.

hmmm… maybe i should study to be a surgeon…

that’s an idea!